Stories on Inspiration, Love and Life Lessons
Freedom from Guilt and Shame
A Life of Peace Filled With Love!
Repentant tears wash out the stain of guilt. Saint Augustine
Guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the body. Elder David A. Bednar
The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger but wisdom, understanding, and love. Jennifer Edwards
I recommend his article: “The Difference Between Guilt and Shame, And Why It Matters”
Unconditional love is ever-present in your heart, soul, spirit and mind. Love works to free you from guilt and shame. Love is limitless and ready to use whenever you need it. Love inspires and motivates when your load is heavy.
Love waits patiently for you to knock and seek its wisdom. Love helps you to understand your emotions. Love is the still small voice speaking to your soul.
The topic of this story is based on an emotion I have been fighting my entire adult life.
Being a dedicated follower of Jesus Christ I know in my heart and spirit I should trust God the Father in all things. He has total control over every aspect of my life. If I allow Him. I am a child of God and He loves me with His perfect, infinite and unconditional love.
The problem-the guilt you carry around with you when you make a mistake. For instance, when a harsh word is said that hurts a loved one.
If this guilt is not dealt with. The shame that tells you that you are a “bad person” may be more than you can bear.
Allow me if I may. To explore these intimate concerns.
When I make a mistake, I pray for forgiveness. I seek the presence of God the Father. He is always there, available any time. Loving me and listening.
I tell Him of each wrong thing I have done. State my true sorrow and my genuine intent to change. I believe in His promise of forgiveness. Again I am cleansed, reconciled and righteous in His eyes. I am again reconciled to God. I am again His Child and loved by Him.
Yet, still, I fight these emotions. Still feel I make the same mistakes over and over again. Still burdened with unnecessary guilt.
You seek freedom from the load that guilt burdens your heart and soul with. You crave rest and emotional peace.
Like me, you find guilt is an emotion that is hard to shake. But with love, you can do it.
Firstly, I have heard that guilt in itself can be used as a tool of love. How’s that?
Guilt can trigger your conscience. For you to speak soft words that a mistake has been made. Harsh words have been spoken. Somebody has been hurt.
If you take notice of these loving signs of guilt you can take the necessary steps of reconciliation.
You use your feelings of guilt as a gift of love. As a signal that shows you that you have hurt someone. Then guilt can be the trigger leading to an apology. It is entirely up to the person you have hurt whether or not to accept these words of “sorry”.
The loving gift of guilt when used appropriately gives you the freedom to move on. The shackles of guilt are removed and left behind. Perhaps, the relationship is restored.
You have acknowledged that you made a mistake and felt bad about it. You are not going to make a bad situation worse by carrying around unneeded guilt.
“Consider the differences between guilt and shame:
Guilt is about conviction.
Shame is about condemnation.
Guilt is about confession.
Shame is about blaming.
Guilt is about recognizing the truth that we have done something wrong.
Shame is a debilitating feeling that we ARE wrong.
Guilt is a sense of something true, but perhaps difficult to face.
Shame is always connected to a lie.” (emerge.org)
Shame on the other hand is a deeper and more intrusive experience.
For me, as a dedicated follower of Jesus Christ shame takes the form of: Why do I keep making the same mistakes? Why am I so weak?
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am a child of God the Father. That Jesus Christ shed His precious blood to cleanse me of all wrong-doing.
But, there is always a but!
Do you have a but? Do you carry shame in your life?
Have you a lingering sense of something in your life that you cannot conquer? Do you feel labelled in some way?
Have you someone you feel confident with and can trust?
To be able to share your feelings of shame may weaken their grip on your life.
You have a special someone whom you completely love and trust. This special person knows you’ve made mistakes but loves and accepts you without question.
You feel ready to bare your heart and soul to this special person. You are not seeking a miracle. You are simply hoping that by speaking out about this shame it may loosen its grip on your life. After all, what have you to be frightened of?
The person I turn to is God the Father. I pray to Him through Jesus Christ my mediator. God’s only begotten Son, Jesus my Lord.
Now, I am fortunate I have never labelled myself as a “bad person” or any other label. I hope you don’t either.
For some people, shame becomes so entrenched in their lives that they believe they are “bad”.
This is the major difference between guilt and shame.
I hope you never place negative labels on yourself.
I have heard a neighbour call himself quite often a loser. I worry that he truly sees himself in this way.
Now, that is shame raring its ugly nature.
If you do see yourself as anything but loved and beautiful from the inside. Anything that harms your sense of well-being. Anything that can in any way be labelled as shame. These feelings may leave you feeling devastated.
When you accept who you are. Not merely labels. Shame’s power over you will vanish.
Perhaps, again reach out to family and friends.
By using the limitless power of genuine love guilt and shame lose their grip on your life.
Love teaches you that guilt is a signal that an apology needs to be spoken and forgiveness is to be sought.
There is a difference between guilt which is a trigger showing that a mistake has been made.
And shame, a wrongly place label.
Each of these emotions drains you of a full life and happiness. These emotions are a heavy weight for you to carry.
With the help and love of a very special loved one shame loses its grip. You again are free.
Free to love. To be loved.
To be thankful for all that life has given you.
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This article is also published in Vocal Media
