Stories on Love, Life and Inspiration
Value of True Friendship
How We Find Value Through True Friendship!
A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. Unknown
There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met. Jim Henson
A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have. Irish Proverb
Everyone needs true/close friends to help us celebrate life. Close friends share our good and bad times and forgive us when we offend them. When you have received the prized gift of friendship, treasure it as it will walk with you along life’s path.
True friendship has the power to make your life extraordinary. I urge you now to take the time and effort to strengthen your bonds with your closest friend[s].
In today’s busy society life changes Oh so often. Looking back on my life and admitting when I needed to change locations due to work or family commitments, friends were left behind. I am not ‘the keep in touch’ type of person, so contact with really close friends was promptly lost. I miss their company, but I have nobody to blame but myself.
Having a close friend with whom you laughed, cried and shared many moments is more precious than gold. That very special someone who replaced loneliness with joy and shared companionship.
Like the rest of us, you have one or two truly close friends. You may well recognize how extraordinary for you these people are. You have probably turned to a close friend in a time of doubt. She gently nudged you to try your best. To give voice to the passion in your life and pursue a dream.
I know when I decided to give painting a try, the encouragement of friends helped me not to hesitate. And, boy I am glad I didn’t give up.
Of course, you have times when a true friend said or did something that deeply hurt you. But because the friendship was treasured, steps were taken over time and the friendship was restored.
Good friends are beyond question valuable to you and me, in such a myriad of ways. Close friendships have provided opportunities to love and value others. By valuing the other person’s friendship you show them in Oh! In so many ways they are indeed important to you. You appreciate the many times spent together and the things shared.
When I am blessed with the gift of a close friend my life is bright and each day spent in their company is like living under a rainbow. I find it so rarely in my life. I have a few acquaintances — I am not lonely — but I do not make true friends easily.
When this true blessing from heaven comes into my life I hold on to it with all I have. To say I value the person and our friendship. Well, YES! It doesn’t last forever, but when we’re friends it’s like tiny pieces of heaven here on earth.
True friendship takes time and effort to build and sustain. Consider yourself a lucky person because that very special someone chose you to be her very close friend. A gift from heaven was bestowed. What you and I need to realize is the value of friendship makes both persons happier. And has to be a good thing, right?
You and I remember times when in a moment, which was not so good, our very best friend was always there — well just there when most needed. No matter what! A true blessing in the shape of a personal angel, perhaps? Your very best friend always wants what is best for you and encourages you to try harder. I know I would not be a professional artist, as I am now, if not for my very best friend urging me to follow my dream.
You and I are not perfect, no one is. Yet, believe it or not, your closest friend still loves you and wants to spend time with you. That truly is the value of Friendship.
True friendship is always a two-way street. In that, when you are a little down, being with that one special someone, makes you feel better simply by being with her. Without the need for words. Then, what happened— what was the gift bestowed? The sheer joy of being together, because of her natural kindness and gentle signs of love. No words were needed, just gifts of kindness and perhaps when ready, her gentle laughter lifted the dark clouds.
Now, the practice of “Pass It On” is the magic that happens here. The practice of reciprocity is at work here. When you are happy then those around you are happier too.
Another element of this secret is to allow yourself to be a little vulnerable at times when sharing a sadness. This can only happen with a close friend that has wholeheartedly earned your trust. This isn’t easy when friendships are new but will blossom over time. When a sense of sadness is shared it loses its grip and joy replaces it — life again is worth living. Friendship has once again proven its Value!
Despite everything you have tried there are still doubts in your mind. About your ability to be a true and close friend to another person. When that special someone is experiencing an especially joyful time. Can you be relied on to share that joy honestly without trivialising it?
Well, it may be as simple as a genuine smile at the right time and in the right context. There is true magic in joy shared. So, create this magic, with your close friend. Joy abhors a vacuum, it strains to be shared. Perhaps a gentle hug from you, ask why she is so happy and share her joy. There is no better feeling for her, then than sharing her joy.
Establishing and sustaining close friendships is only possible because of the essential and fundamental element of trust. The simple fact is that each partner in this treasured relationship built up over time trust the other. This gives the relationship the basis of confidence needed to last and grow.
True friendships demand trust in and by both parties for them to grow and flourish. We may variously conceive of the notion of trust slightly differently from our friends. But basically, it comes down to being dependable, honest and reliable. Once the two of you have established a meaningful and trust-based friendship, then you are safe to grow and make plans. ‘Always say what you mean, mean what you say, match your actions to your words, always show up when promised- a phone call when you can't, etc. These simple acts of trust built over the life of the friendship are like water in the desert — desert flowers will indeed blossom. Proving again the Value of Friendship.
Each of us looks at close friendships from a slightly different viewpoint. One thing I believe we all have in common is an intimacy shared by such friends is the life-blood of long time companions.
When you spend time with such a companion — although you have not defined it as such — a level of intimacy has been built over time. This deep and rewarding element of your relationship may be as simple as a hug when meeting for the first time after a long break. Or cuddling up on the lounge together to watch a movie. No matter what the sign of intimacy is, it means you have been friends long enough for intimacy to be shared.
Through the many years of this close friendship, opportunities have shown that both of you can be relied on. Merely to be there for each other when needed. To listen without ‘butting in’ and not judging her when she pours out her sorrows. Accepting her struggles and showing how brave she is for struggling through. She is in turn comfortable pouring out her sorrows to you because throughout your friendship you always stayed open and true to who ‘you are’. Never put on a ‘mask’, never trying to ‘up one’ on her in any way.
And, over the many years, her trust in you has been rock solid. You never gossiped or divulged confidence or a secret. Trust is the ‘cornerstone’, the very foundation of this vital and empowering friendship.
Trust is valued by you and her and will never be broken. You both value each other and your rare friendship. As the gift it is. The gift is more precious than gold.
Both you and I have a different way of being intimate with close friends. And, in turn, have their unique way, which also needs to be recognized and respected. This level of friendship indeed takes time and each person is required to learn and respect the boundaries of others.
If a boundary is crossed and feelings hurt. Then a true friendship will recover with apologies sought, forgiveness sought and granted and time is taken for true reconciliation to restore.
As in life, we are not perfect. And that will flow over to our dealings with our close friends. We may do something inadvertently which hurts. We value the friend, the friendship and deeply want to make amends. So, now what? For me, I pull myself aside and try to see it from my friend’s perspective. Then when the time is right, I say I am truly sorry and hope we can still be friends. I show her just how much she and our friendship means to me. Then I leave it completely up to her.
We all have a different way of making amends when a true and close friendship is damaged. You value your friend and want the friendship to continue. Perhaps it may be for the best to step aside for a little while. Allowing your friend’s emotions to settle.
When the time is right and she tells you she is ready. Gently and tenderly ask her if she is willing to talk. Letting her do all the talking may be the best here. Once she is done. Then is the time for you to own up to what you did and how you are now truthfully sorry. Both for what you did and the pain it caused.
Perhaps, if it feels right, a gentle hug, if she is ready. And, when all is restored the friendship will not only continue but will Blossom!
You and I have our way of seeking forgiveness when we have hurt or offended a close friend. One of the goals of forgiveness is to restore the friendship to how it was before the damage or hurtful behaviour.
When your friendship is based on honesty and trust then apologies given are accepted — forgiveness sought and granted — reconciliation after time awarded. It is not easy, but it is rewarding. Friendships are strengthened and blossom.
You will feel much better too if you forgive a friend who has hurt you. You have given her your dearest gift of forgiveness and acceptance that shows she is indeed valued by you. And again your friendship grows. Again the power of the Value of Friendship is Proven.
Reconciliation of a treasured friendship only happens when both friends are honestly prepared to make up and move on. Each person needs to be allowed the time to let hurt feelings heal. When each person is ready then, and only then, can the close and intimate feelings return. Each person must listen, genuinely listen to what the other person is feeling and then relay then their feelings. This can only occur in an atmosphere of sincere trust, openness and honesty on both parts.
And, yes another wonderful thing has just happened in your rare friendship. The precious gift of a true and close friendship was restored. A gift that will teach you both how much you mean to each other.
The eternal hope of your close friendship is the extra something this relationship awards your life. This precious gift has endured its ups and downs, brought joy and tears, and boosts your happiness as nothing else can. This precious gift of a true friend who was and is there for you when needed — just a phone call away. Which taught you so much. She has shown that even through your imperfections, she loves spending time with you. And, WOW!, that makes you feel precious! Again proving the value of friendship.
I’ve been thinking about my friendships while writing this simple story. So many memories to be cherished, so many gifts bestowed to be treasured and so many lessons taught that have made me the person I am today.
The amazing power of a close friendship is the connection that may span many years between two or more people. There’s just something remarkably exclusive about time spent with a close friend. Does she realize what a huge difference in your life she has made?
Both you and your friend[s] gain so much. You receive the precious gifts of acceptance-(without judgment), love-(unconditional-at times), forgiveness-(sought and granted), joy-(shared), comfort-(when needed), and the list goes on.
And over the period, you build so many memories. True friendships last even though there may be periods of physical separation. But when re-united it seems you were never apart — yes — another minor miracle.
Why are these friendships so precious? Because they are rare. So, value this rareness! And, as you are blessed with a true and close friend treasure her as the miraculous gift she truly is.
True friends are irreplaceable as are these relationships. These friendships are not built overnight. These rare and precious friendships are worth protecting, and protect them we must. These friendships are worth cherishing, and cherish them we must. These friendships are to be valued, and value them we must.
On this journey we have called ‘friendship’, you have both learned to laugh and cry together, to apologise, seek and give forgiveness, restore the damage done and reinforce the bonds of love and intimacy.
This haven we have called ‘friendship’ restores our trust in others and life itself. Now we both believe in the ‘Power and Value of True Friendship’.
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